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drunkxdesire

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Take my hand [May. 31st, 2005|12:35 pm]
drunkxdesire
Stand up fucking tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my fucking hand
and never be afraid again
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I feel like crap!(sick)(and hungry):( [May. 31st, 2005|12:17 pm]
drunkxdesire
[mood |sickshitty]
[music |heater]

in my previous entry i stated that i like somebody. but i think i'd rather keep it under wraps for now. i don't wanna make it a big deal. if u wanna know who, just ask. but don't tell;). o yeah, and this friday, whoever wants to...(preferably no more than 5 people)..can come w/ skinny and "drop by" my house this friday night. i'm grounded so i can't hang out w/ anyone anymore, unless they just drop by my house for 2 hours or so. we can watch a movie , jam or something, i dunno.so yeah, lets see how that goes. i hope u people come, cuz man, if my friend was grounded and couldn't hang out for more than a month,and the whole crew has been hanging out w/out them. i think i'd take 2 to 4 hours out of my friday night to spend w/ them, and make them happy. but that's just me, do what u want. npo pressure. anyways, i also got stuff for this birthday breakfast i'm gonna have. we're gonna have Arepas! a venezuealan food, i usually eat for breakfast. it's amazing. anyways, i got the decorations for it, it's gonna be 50's. and from like 10-1. after that we hang out and go to the BIG party/cookout for chris' girlfriend, junior and I at well...someone's house, i dunno. o yeah, and it's the 18th. yay, can't wait. i hope people come. O YEAH! i also got a new canvas today and i'm painting on it. (a great painting btw) i hope to have done by the 18'th. i'll show u all. all i can say to describe it is AFRICA. so yeah, i gtg, i'm in school, i'm not allowed online. call me whenever tho. my cell is 781-354-7687, my home(wich you should mostly call, cuz i don't answer my cell at home much) is 781-275-5127. call me pleeze! i need communication w/ civilization, so bad. ok, so i gtg ttyl, luv u all, ciao<3

~Sofia
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(no subject) [May. 29th, 2005|09:25 pm]
drunkxdesire
[mood |flirtyflirty]
[music |samba]

i like somebody.
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(no subject) [May. 29th, 2005|07:52 pm]
drunkxdesire
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]
[music |80's]

ok, so i ralized my last entry was messed. i was really upset. sorry. anyways, life is really hard roght now,and i just need someone to talk to and lean on. i dunno, i can't think straight. all i can think of now is music. punk. disco. 80's. retro. techno. man i wanna dance. i'm thinking scattered thought, sorry if this makes no sence. btw, (this is so off track). talk to me. anyone, i am feeling like crap latley no matter how much i smile, i'm dying inside. i need someone to tlak to me. i know i can get thru this, i always do. it's just like 20 obstacles in my life i need to get over at once. anyways, on another note, i start work next wednesday. I am however, going to the promm stroll(i hope) and graduation. i NEED to go to graduation and see my people graduate! btw: i'm so freakin proud of you guys! ok i gtg play music. maybe write a song. i'll try to talk to you guys more latley and not be such an emo face. i hate ruining everyone's day, cuz i'm feelin down. ok, so i gtg. i won't be on much, so bye for now. ciao!<333
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FUCK YOU [May. 28th, 2005|10:08 pm]
drunkxdesire
fuck parents.
fuck school.
fuck jobs.
fuck guys.
fuck friends.
fuck everything...
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This is how i feel. [May. 27th, 2005|08:34 pm]
drunkxdesire
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |silence...again]

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
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(no subject) [May. 25th, 2005|12:29 pm]
drunkxdesire
[mood |blankblank]
[music |------------]

to:everyone

ok, i'm on school, and tired.i'm not gonna write much, i'm jsut saying i'm bored, lonley, and cold. i don't wanna move, i don't wanna leave my freinds, i don't want everyone to move on. promise me you all will stay my friend even after i move away, and we'll still go on that tour together?

current thought...

"Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That your're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry

So just say how to make it right
And i swear i'll do my best to comply"

ciao</3 btw i'm, grounded from the internet for a while. and i won't be able to do anything cuz i'll have a job every day. sry:-/ prom stroll-no graduation-no
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My Broken Heart [May. 22nd, 2005|10:47 pm]
drunkxdesire
Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That your're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry

So just say how to make it right
And i swear i'll do my best to comply

Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together

I feel must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why i have to leave

So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling i love you so...

Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures

I admit that i have made mistakes and i swear
I'll never wrong you again
You've got a lure i can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye
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(no subject) [May. 22nd, 2005|09:16 pm]
drunkxdesire
[mood |optimisticoptimistic]
[music |silence...again]

today was bitter-sweet. i think i'll write a song about today acually. anyways. it started with church. i went to church and my brother and sister were pissing me off. so it got me in a bad mood. then i went to m brothers lacrosse game, and he lost. he did good tho. then i went to the mall w/ kelly. it wasn't much fun, cuz all she does is go in stores and talk on her cell phone. or meet up w/ friends who work there. it was fun tho. then i got home, to find that i didn't have my key and i had to break into my house by jumping in thru a window. skill? i think so. then i listened to music and found out kelly was mad at me, becuase i asked her to pay me back for buying her lunch. which i don't even kno why i asked that, she shouldn't owe me anything, it was really selfish of me. then i went online and tried to talk to people, but only one person was talking back. i got to set something straight w/ them, and it feels a lot better now. i tlaked to kelly and we're cool now. then i talked to rcehl. i love rachel like a sister, but i feel like she's replaced jiame and me w/ a new best friend. i mean i love sarah too, but it's like they're always hanging out and when they do, i'm left out , more than it was w/ jaime. w/ jiame i had "polar bear" w/ sarah, i have nothing. it's like"major polarbearage!" and i'm included physically for 5 seconds then back to leaving me. so i was al il upset w/ rachel, mostly for not talking back when i was telling her this. even if she was busy, i thought she'd answer something like that back. i dunno, may be i'm jsut emo today. i was having a good day, but i dunno. O! then my mom and grandmothertalked to me for hours about how my grades suck, and i'm "not doing anything to change it", then they talked to me about how i'm "too fat for my age" and i'm "on a diet to gain weight". honestly, i don't give a fuck how much i weigh. as long as i'm healthy and have a figure, i can care less. yeah i think i should loose some weight, at least 5 pi=ounds or so, but not like my mom. my grandmother's anorexic, and my mom's a twig. it's like whenever i say "i'm hungry", they lecture me on how fat i am. GOd, my family won't just let me live my life. i know how to take care of my own health. geeze. then dinner comes and my mom almost calls the cops on my lil brother. then i decided i need to have something good happen today. so i baked a cake, which is cooling as i type. i nee dto go now, and finish my day and clea my room. just had to let all this out.ciao<3

~Sofia Loren Souza Arocha
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"Shit happens" [May. 21st, 2005|04:43 pm]
drunkxdesire
[mood |boredbored]
[music |Evanessance]

ok, so i started the day happy. i tried to not be emo, and hoestly, it's been working. so i tried to make plans w/ Jaime and go bake something but her mom wouldn't let her. :(. anyways, i ended up going shopping w/ my grandmother who is THE COOLEST WOMAN ON THE PLANET eccept for me...ANYWAYS(for the second time) i had a great day. i got a cute new clack tank, yellow and blue shoes, and nice fifties white framed sunglasses. i look so hot in all this. (i have today). so yeah, i'm havin a good day i guess. i havta stay home tonite and babysitt, but it's ok i guess. next thurs. i need to go to "orientation" for my new Job i start next week. i'll be working mondays, tuesdays, thursdays and fridays. ( i'd rather be working wed. and not friday). anyways,(for the third time)(he he) i'm trying to look more into the future and not so much the past. my past sucked, why would i wanna keep looking into it?. teh only thing i can do or think about in the past is one regret i have. something i can try one last time to fix. I decided when i move, i'm strting new. everything new. fresh new start. not trying to impress anyone, just be myself, and someone is bound to be my firned. if not i always have my gang here in bedford:). so yeha, i decided since everyone's moving late june. my early fake birthday will be JUNE 18. i'm gonna have a lil party at my house, more like just a jam session/get together in the morning. then i'm gonna go w/ some friends to the beach, rain or shine. Sulsbury beach.(i love that place, so many good memories). after teh beach, we're gona go to the place y dad performed at, RLYE'S JAZZ CLUB. and have dinner.(btw, ur all invited!) a few friends sleep over and the day is done. good idea huh?. well i gtg eat my ice-cream (i was so spoiled today), and listen to music. i'll tty all later. luv ya guys:)

<3~Sofia(aka "polar bear")
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